Saying Goodbye...

Yesterday we buried my Grandma.

Words can never do a person justice, but this was one truly. wonderful. lady.

My Uncle Hal summed her up nicely when he said, "...her favorite quote was "People will not remember what you said or what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel", and this was a woman who made a whole lot of people feel real good..."

She surely did. 

Always a smile on her face and arms ready for a hug. 

She was my #1 blog reader, and always sent me the sweetest replies about how much she loved seeing my posts and the pictures of my family. She always laughed when it was supposed to be funny, and encouraged me when I seemed down.

She had the bubbliest laugh. Her laugh is what I will  remember most.

As a little girl I spent many afternoons at her house. She would sit at her kitchen table with me and sip her coffee and laugh her bubbly laugh, listening and listening to the most talkative 5 year old you could imagine. She'd make warm honey water for Jarom and I, as we'd soak up her attention, and she would record us talking to her and singing songs (and fighting over who was supposed to sing and who was supposed to be quiet).

(Grandma, Mom, Me)

(Jarom, Grandma, Me)

(Me, Grandma, Melissa, Mom, Melanie)

She had a big cherry tree in her back yard, and big leafy trees out front, and I loved the smell of them in the summer and autumn. For several years she also had honey bees, and we often had big 5 gallon buckets full of raw honey in our house because of her.

As I got older she shared stories with me of her own childhood. One I specifically remember was how as a little girl, and one of 10 children, she loved going to the camp where her mama worked as a cook, to eat the most delicious warm rolls with butter and honey. And the way she talked about them, you'd just imagine nothing could possibly ever taste as good as my great-Grandmother's homemade rolls. 

My Grandma went through many things in her life that were pretty horrible, including being a little girl when polio hit our country, and getting sick herself. She was abused by her step-dad and so she subsequently gave up two babies for adoption when she was just 14 and 16 years old. She married young and lost two children, two baby boys, who both died at birth. She divorced and went on to marry my mom's dad and had four children, my mom and her twin brother right in the middle. When she and my grandpa divorced (my mom was 4), she worked hard to take care of her kids, as a beautician and as a waitress....

But being with her, you'd never even know of all the hardships, because in spite of everything life dealt her, I never knew her to have anything but a warm smile on her face, a ready laugh, and a happy countenance. 

I should certainly learn a thing or two from her......

Most of my family was unable to come to the funeral since they don't live close. But it was still a very special service, and very heartfelt. I think all the right words were said, and it turned out beautiful. Three of my cousins were able to be there, Crystal, Jennifer and Jena, my Uncle Hal's girls.

Jennifer and Jena spent a lot of their childhood years in Grandma's home, and she was a big part of their lives. They sang for the service "An Irish Lullaby", which is a song my great-Grandmother sang to my Grandma as a little girl, and which she then sang to her kids, and to Jena and Jennifer too. 

Something interesting happened while Jennifer and Jena sang the lullaby.  It was a very hot afternoon, 90 degrees, and not very breezy. But as they started to sing the lullaby, the wind picked up, and blew so strongly during the whole song if felt as though the tent over the gravesite was going to blow over. Then it died back down just as they finished the song. It was one of those moments that just gives you goosebumps. I got it on video, or I might've thought I'd imagined it...

We Love you so much Grandma. Thank you for all you were in our lives.

Gertrude "Trudy" Laura Patterson Starr

October 24, 1935 - August 19, 2011

After the service, each of the kids put a rose on top.

My cousin Crystal is the beautiful lady in the brown dress, she lives in South Carolina and has the prettiest southern accent.  Jennifer is next to Damon, Jena is the blonde just behind her (wish I'd have gotten a better picture of you lovely girls! But at least I caught some video.)

We buried Grandma right next to my brother Jarom. After they put her coffin down in the cement vault and lifted out the support piece, and just before they poured the dirt in, we looked in and could see the side and part of the top of Jarom's vault. For just a brief moment the barrier of earth that's been there for 18 years was gone...  

My mom. Her mom on her right, and her son on her left.

 Before we left, we fed the kids a picnic lunch and let them run through the sprinklers to cool off. I have no qualms about kids running around a cemetery playing and disturbing the peace (as long as there isn't a service going on). I think the joy and life and noisy giggles children bring could be nothing but appreciated... 

They found a tree frog too. Quite a hit with all those little boys.